it makes us realise the world does not revolve around us.
it makes us realise nothing is handed to us.
it makes us realise that everything comes with a price.
do we understand?
do we fight?
do we sacrifice?
Saturday
Monday
distances
distance does not make the heart grow fonder..
it just makes you realise you can live without that person and get on with life.
it just makes you realise you can live without that person and get on with life.
Tuesday
Saturday
somedays are just.. somedays.
doing work on a saturday and nobody's there.
he's not angry.. he is just sad.
work is just an excuse for something more troubling.
something that is not supposed to be troubling.
yet its eating him.. and eating him.
he doesnt understand why.
he is trying and trying.
a feeling doesnt come..
a feeling doesnt go...
but it's just more then feelings isnt it.
it's more then the beauty of a rose.
it's more then the longingness of a broken heart.
it's more then the courage of selflessness.
and yet he can't find more.
he tries. and he is trying.
give that man a little more time. and a little more hope.
he's not angry.. he is just sad.
work is just an excuse for something more troubling.
something that is not supposed to be troubling.
yet its eating him.. and eating him.
he doesnt understand why.
he is trying and trying.
a feeling doesnt come..
a feeling doesnt go...
but it's just more then feelings isnt it.
it's more then the beauty of a rose.
it's more then the longingness of a broken heart.
it's more then the courage of selflessness.
and yet he can't find more.
he tries. and he is trying.
give that man a little more time. and a little more hope.
April is the cruellest month.
APRIL is the cruellest month, breeding
Lilacs out of the dead land, mixing
Memory and desire, stirring
Dull roots with spring rain
Winter kept us warm, covering
Earth in forgetful snow, feeding
A little life with dried tubers.
Monday
Euphoria
we got so numb by our feelings...
we got so numb from the alcohol.
i was in the powder room looking at the mirror.
i couldnt see myself. i couldnt feel myself.
i see a strange man. i have never felt so out of my body before.
the man in the mirror smiled and said 'you did good today.'
what is it that made him say that. and i dont feel anything at all.
it is a very strange feeling. the person in the mirror is actually talking to me.
and i hear his voice. i see him staring at me... he looks like me and he is me.
but i just cannot grasp the reality of it.
He is another person. he is a stranger and why is he talking.
i cant feel my fingers. and i cant hear my voice. im watching through a window and hearing everything around me. Even as i speak. it is not me. Even as i smile. it is not me. even as i touch it is not me.
The feeling is..... there is no feeling. all i want to do is... theres nothing i want to do. it is like dreaming, just that everyone around me is real. i know everyone is real. i just cant feel that they are.
i hope this feeling last forever.
we got so numb from the alcohol.
i was in the powder room looking at the mirror.
i couldnt see myself. i couldnt feel myself.
i see a strange man. i have never felt so out of my body before.
the man in the mirror smiled and said 'you did good today.'
what is it that made him say that. and i dont feel anything at all.
it is a very strange feeling. the person in the mirror is actually talking to me.
and i hear his voice. i see him staring at me... he looks like me and he is me.
but i just cannot grasp the reality of it.
He is another person. he is a stranger and why is he talking.
i cant feel my fingers. and i cant hear my voice. im watching through a window and hearing everything around me. Even as i speak. it is not me. Even as i smile. it is not me. even as i touch it is not me.
The feeling is..... there is no feeling. all i want to do is... theres nothing i want to do. it is like dreaming, just that everyone around me is real. i know everyone is real. i just cant feel that they are.
i hope this feeling last forever.
Wednesday
outside my comfort zone.
because there are so many things that are new.
so many things that we dont understand.
and
in the things we understand, we cant grasp the reality of it.
so many feelings that pull us in so many directions.
and
in the things we feel, we contradict.
we stand firm and try to control.
and
the things we control becomes greatly uncontrollable.
we let things sway and flow where circumstances take us.
and
the things we follow becomes extremely uncertain.
we know its there, we just cant see it.
'it' becomes so ambigious.
what is 'it'?
so many things that we dont understand.
and
in the things we understand, we cant grasp the reality of it.
so many feelings that pull us in so many directions.
and
in the things we feel, we contradict.
we stand firm and try to control.
and
the things we control becomes greatly uncontrollable.
we let things sway and flow where circumstances take us.
and
the things we follow becomes extremely uncertain.
we know its there, we just cant see it.
'it' becomes so ambigious.
what is 'it'?
Saturday
because... because feelings can be supressed.
they can be controlled, and bent to the will of the wielder.
but how much can we twist and turn our feelings to tell ourselves lies...
just to make us feel better.
The more we recognise how hurt we can get.... the more we know how to delude ourselves.
maybe its not such a bad thing afterall.
With control comes patience. and with patience comes reward.
but how much can we twist and turn our feelings to tell ourselves lies...
just to make us feel better.
The more we recognise how hurt we can get.... the more we know how to delude ourselves.
maybe its not such a bad thing afterall.
With control comes patience. and with patience comes reward.
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